I have not been able to blog for a long time. I find typing for even a short period of time often means real discomfort. However, if I end up in pain for writing this, it is nothing compared to what those grieving in Florida over lost ones are feeling. So, I could not keep quiet.
While this post is in the form of a prayer, I don't think it need be. I think this can be read as a plea for decency.
June 14, 2016
Father God,
It seems You are taking me from frightened to thankful this morning. You know how really alarmed I was when I awakened and my entire left side felt tingling and somewhat numb. I don’t like it that my right thumb is taking longer to stop shaking. For the first time I am really scared, God.
But You are redirecting my thoughts away from myself. And while I know that is good and right, and what You would have me do, I don’t want this heaviness in my heart, either. I want to stay more detached from the people in Florida who are right now grieving. I don’t want to think about how, at times, they will have trouble getting their next breath. I don’t want to think about how a wave of physical sickness will periodically wash over them. I don’t want to think about parents having to plan their sons’ and daughters’ funerals. I worry about the condition of the body that a parent or loved one who has to identify. I can’t imagine the frustration and anger there must be and the need to know why. Please, God, don’t ask me to think too much about all of those poor loved ones left behind. Emotional pain can be so much more intense than the physical. I don’t want to, in any small way, experience their pain!
And yet, maybe this is a gift; the fact that I will have to be careful today and take it easy. Maybe what is most probably out in the world today would be equally painful to me, or more so. Do you want me to pray, Lord? Is that what you want me to do? How can I possibly know what to pray or how to pray over a situation like this? The only thing I can think is to focus on the families. Please do not expect me to consider anything else.
Maybe that is the prayer right there:
Father,
Please let the hurting families be what is important now. Help all of us to be able, to some extent, imagine what condition we would be in if it were happening to us, to our families.
I know the inevitable will happen, Lord. It has most likely already begun. People will begin to debate what caused the massacre. Each will put forth his/her side and defend it vehemently. I am asking that You give us the sensitivity to wait, Father God. Let all of us, on whatever side of the gun, mental illness and / or terrorist issues, or any others, wait until after the families have at least buried the ones lost to them. Please, please fill us with that much compassion. Let us remember that Jesus hung on a cross and said nothing about His rights. Rather He prayed for all of us. Instill in us just a little of what He was in that moment.
I know that is naive; that it will not happen, particularly with all of the different social media outlets we have now. I don’t understand all of the differences between them. And all I want to understand is that they could be used for good right now. They could be used to reach out and extend our sympathies to people we don’t even know. Sadly, our family has learned that people can’t really help when tragedy strikes. But somehow, knowing people care and that they would change the situation if they could is immensely comforting. I have yet to understand why. I just know it is true.
Well, actually I should know more, shouldn’t I? And shame on me for not realizing it before now. We were designed that way, weren’t we? That is why during Jesus’ time on earth He reached out to the hurting. How could I have forgotten that He wept with Lazarus’ sisters? So, let me ask again, Father God, that You help us to weep with the families. Make us the strength and comfort they need. Let that be our reaction.
The last thing I can think to pray, Lord, is for You to give a lot more people a Muslim friend. Thank You for mine. Thank You that she has taught me much about living a life that would be pleasing to You. Allow others to have a friend who will live out compassion by doing something such as to stop wearing earrings because her friend had cancer on an ear and can no longer wear them. And allow them to have one who draws no attention to that kindness. Allow them to have one like mine, who was embarrassed when her kindness was pointed out. Please, Father, allow others the privilege of knowing those who live out the true Islam religion.
So, I am ending up thankful; not of my own doing, of course. Thank You, God, that my view today will be limited to our bedroom window. If You are sparing me the discouragement of seeing a different response to this heartbreak than what I am praying for here, thank You.
