Sunday, December 25, 2011

To Tell The Truth

Note:  For those who do not like to read posts of a "religious" nature, this won't be for you.  UNLESS you want to hear a Christian complain about how petty we can be and how we can focus on the most unimportant of things.  If so, read on. 

I couldn’t help it.  I had to laugh.  To my way of thinking it was just so silly.  That shouldn’t have been my response, of course, for several reasons.  I should have responded the way I always try to when I see things from a different perspective than someone else,   “I very respectfully, but also very strongly, disagree.”  Not that those with whom I disagreed would know and get their opportunity for rebuttal.  After all, they were on TV. 

As is frustratingly the case, way too often,  I saw perhaps a minute or two of something Allan was watching on television.  There were several older women, all in their red Christmas sweaters, explaining their decision to take issue with the phrase “Happy Holiday”.  They had determined that this phrase would be unacceptable to Jesus.  How did they know?  The spokeswoman (I guess) explained that they had tried to think what Jesus would say if He were here now, sitting at a table with them.  They felt that if they were to ask Him about saying “Happy Holiday”, He would say He wanted us to greet each other with “Merry Christmas”.    As I left the room laughing, I told Allan they must know a different Jesus than I do.  The one I know would ask about people.  He would want to ask about hungry children; about our lack of peacemaking, and our war, etc.  After having my little “say”, off I went to complete whatever task it was that I was working on.

Later on, mulling the whole thing over, I asked myself how those ladies could say, with complete conviction, that they knew what Jesus would say about some modern day controversy which is not directly addressed in the Bible?  (I’m always impressed, but also intimidated, by such people.)   I just did not understand on what basis they could assert that Jesus would care about our greeting to one another, as long as any greeting was loving toward one another.  The Jesus they know so well as to easily imagine Him at the table with them is not, to my knowledge, found in the Bible.  In the three years before going to the cross, the Jesus I read about ate with sinners.  He fed people.  He healed illness.  He healed blind people.  Those unable to walk, He touched and gave them the gift of mobility.  He took time to talk to people.  He cried over them.  He made not one complaint on the cross.  He was ridiculed and made fun of.  He said nothing. 

In these descriptions of His actions, I simply fail to see a Jesus who would bother to take time today to concern Himself with a greeting used for a short period of time once a year.  (Again, as long as it is reflective of love and peace one for another.  And to my way of thinking, both “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holiday” show good intent towards those to whom either greeting is directed.)  So, is the Jesus that would be at the table of these ladies a totally different Jesus than the one of the Bible?  Has He changed His priorities?  Is He now more interested in what people say about Him than in hunger, disease, and physical handicaps?  Is His second great command to love one another as we love ourselves now replaced by the encouragement to worry about those things not essential to the human condition; those things that do not require extending our hearts, our resources, and our efforts to others? 

I don’t know.  If I try to imagine Jesus coming and sitting at a table with me, He is commenting on so many other things.  Like the fact that last year we Americans spent approximately $450 billion on Christmas.  While for a cost of only about $20 billion, clean water could be provided for the entire world.  According to researchers over half of all childhood deaths are connected to dirty water.  So I think Jesus might want to discuss consuming less “things” and thereby saving these lives.  And I doubt lack of clean water would be His only concern.  I feel certain He would be weeping over the fact that a child dies from a hunger-related cause every 6 seconds!  (Just think how many will die in the few minutes it takes someone to read this!!!)  The Jesus I read and study about would be a lot more concerned over these tragedies, not to mention how we have used our resources to go to war, resulting in the deaths of many innocent people, including small children.  And these are merely several examples of matters that I personally believe would grieve Him a lot more than how we greet each other as an expression of goodwill.   

For some reason, while thinking this over, I remembered a television show from my childhood, of all things!?  (It can’t come as a surprise to anyone who knows me, surely!)   “To Tell The truth” was a show my parents enjoyed. The show had a host, a panel of four celebrities, and guests always in groups of threes.  Only one guest group was on stage at a time.  The host read a brief description portraying the unusual experience or occupation of one of the three guests.  The celebrity panelists, by asking a series of questions, were to determine which guest was the “real” person about whom the host had just read.  If I remember correctly, these celebrities were blindfolded so as not to be able to read the body language or facial expressions of the contestants.  This was because the “real” person was to respond truthfully to any questions posed.  The other two guests, on the other hand, were to answer so as to deceive the panel and cause them to guess incorrectly.  Once a number of questions were asked, the host asked the “real” Mr. or Mrs. Whatever to please stand. 

Let’s imagine for a minute that Jesus, were, in fact, here today.  He has agreed to be a guest on the “To Tell The Truth” show this December.  He has agreed only on condition that He be allowed to review and approve the written description of Him.   He has been given two versions, the first written by these sincere Christian women;  and the second, which reflects my understanding (limited to be sure) and belief. 

This man’s birthday is celebrated by many on the 25th of this month.  This is because He is God who came to live among us and experience our human condition.  While here He was ultimately scorned, lied about, and then suffered an agonizing death on our behalf.  So He embodies the meaning of love.   He has returned briefly because of His concern over the greeting we extend to one another during the season honoring His birth.  His desire is that we stop wishing others “Happy Holiday”, saying instead “Merry Christmas”. 

This man’s birthday is celebrated by many on the 25th of this month.  This is because He is God who came to live among us and experience our human condition.  While here He was ultimately scorned, lied about, and then suffered an agonizing death on our behalf.  So He embodies the meaning of love.   He has returned briefly because of His concern about how we are representing Him and the love He epitomizes.  He is disappointed in our failure to follow His example, clearly and repeatedly given us in the book we say we must study and use as a pattern for our lives.  He is disappointed that we take time to debate issues that do nothing to show this love He embodies.  He would prefer we do as He did and spend the short span of our lives caring deeply about others and showing it in the same ways He did.  He wants us to worry about the same things He did while dying on that cross and give nothing else undo importance.  He wants us to be forgiving others, praying for them and serving their needs, just as He served our spiritual need. 

And to tell the truth, I believe Jesus would choose the description I wrote.  Although He would know there is much I do not understand and that I have much to learn,  I think He would see that I tried, even if inadequately, to use that reference material He gave us, the Bible.  I didn’t just try to make my description fit what I wanted to be true.  I attempted to describe the “real” Jesus.  I attempted to get to the real truth. 

Note:  I hate sarcasm.  I work hard at avoiding it.  I try to remain sensitive to when I might be sounding sarcastic.  That’s why I resisted the temptation to wish anyone who might read this a “Healthy, Blessed, and Happy Holiday”.  

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Worry

Note:  This writing did not originally have two parts.  I wrote what is now Part I, thinking it might just be for myself and I would not post it.  I have done this with a number of writings.  However, I kept thinking about how I was really going to have to dig down deep and keep trying to get back to the me that had some qualities that I don’t want to let go; that I want to last a lifetime.  I always say my mind it no different than an incubator.  It needs time to really mull things over.  And that process I found particularly helpful this time.  Thus, Part II.


Part I

Recently we had a small group discussion about worry.  Interesting.  I have to say I don’t really “worry” per se, leastwise, not as I perceive others do.  And this was pretty much true before Natalia died.  But if it had not been, I would hope that my worry habit/s would have been changed for good.   

It has been my observation that when people talk about their worries, they refer to things in the future, sometimes well into the future.  Things that might never happen and about which they can do nothing. 
If I actually “worry” about anything, it is about getting lazy.  Yes, you read it correctly.  I don’t want to get lazy and I worry that I am on my way to becoming an apt illustration of just that quality. 

I’ve never been lazy.  That is about the only thing I would say has been a definitive and consistent description of myself.  Now?  I seem to have no drive or self-discipline to fight against that laziness; the laziness that is trying to consume me and alter who I am.  It’s as if I have ingested something that is keeping me continually lethargic.  Thank goodness not yet continuously lethargic, but I feel like I’m only a step or two away from being at that stage.  (I couldn’t remember the difference between the two.  But I did remember one of the high school English teachers thinking it was an important matter.  So I did do what they always told us, “Look it up!”  Wiktionary is a good thing!). 

I have often enough asked Allan his opinion.  He answers, no; that he does not think I am getting lazy.  This morning he said I’ve had a lifetime of self-discipline; what does it matter?  But I don’t WANT  to be undisciplined and lazy.  Ever. 

Last year I started saying that I was 61, I could do what I wanted.  (That only gave my daughter Trista another phrase / perceived idiosyncrasy in her repertoire of “Mom” imitations.  She always contends that, were she a comedian, I alone would provide a career’s worth of material.  This clearly shows you what a smart alec she is.  She takes after her dad, by the way.)  I decided that approach was okay, and perhaps appropriate, at this point in life.  But, I am now truly concerned that I am getting into that “all or nothing” mode I find totally unhelpful and try to avoid in most all areas of life.  I don’t want to do what I don’t want to do.  Period.  And I don’t see how that can be okay!?

Back to the “worry” idea.  Worrying about my current lazy mode will not all of a sudden make me want to do what I don’t want to do.  If so, I’d go on a worry strike!  So, I’ll have to find a way to handle the situation, won’t I?  Oh, if I only felt like I could do that!  It doesn’t merely seem like a pretty big mountain to climb.  It feels like I’m supposed to be an experienced rock/cliff climber and I’m heading off to one of the toughest climbs I’ve ever tackled.  And I’m a 62 year-old, wimpy, non-athletic woman with a tear in her back.  Oh dear!

Part II
As I explained in the “Note” above, I kept pondering the dilemma about which I had written.  I went on that particular day to make myself do what I had to and ended up being fairly productive.  At some point in time I realized that maybe this could be a good thing.  Not necessarily for me, because of the real effort I will have to constantly put forth.  BUT, maybe, if I write about the struggle, it will be part of a legacy for Trista.  I do pray she won’t need it.  However, what if she goes through some other really difficult phase of life and I’m not here to help her through it?  Then, perhaps reading about my striving will be a help to her.   

I have a friend whose mother left her some stocks and bonds.  Everything was in a safety deposit box.  Her mother had left little notes attached to the various documents telling her daughter not to waste any of it; to use it wisely.  My friend appreciated those reminders from her mother.  It indicated that her mom had been thinking ahead and wanting to leave her something tangible, but also some advice to accompany the gift itself.  Touching and comical.  I liked just hearing the story. 

So what if a collection of writings about my (a parent’s) struggle could similarly represent both a tangible gift and ongoing encouragement?  A gift that would provide mental and emotional support?  Or cheer her on to have courage and confidence to face whatever she must?  Or give her hope and help her keep going?  Any possibility that I could do that for her would make the difficulty worth it.  I did not get the choice to trade places with Natalia, which I would gratefully have done for my child.  But I can choose this path.  I can choose to record my “fight”.   I can pray that written account never be needed.  But should it be, I can pray it be of great benefit. 

Super interesting, I think.  I don’t know if I can now say there is a purpose, such as that for which I have been searching.  I do know approaching the battle in this way feels like motivation.  And I know the beneficial qualities are circular in nature.  My efforts will be devoted to the benefit of my child.  But just the exerting of that effort circles back to me and I am a recipient of the very thing I most need, motivation.  The strongest and most powerful motivation, the deep desire to help your child.  Wow!  I’m thankful to be getting the encouragement I need for climbing that rock mountain that seems to go straight up.  There’s not only a strongly anchored rope in sight, but a harness uniquely designed for just such a person as I.  You, know, the wimp I described above.  I’m going to grab on, buckle the harness and start up.  Maybe I’ll from time to time give an update on that climb.  If so, I’ll do it with the idea that I have looked over and seen you also climbing your own rock mountain.  And I want some way to cheer you on; to remind you that, just by living, we are all rock climbing.  It really doesn’t matter the size of the mountain, the slope of the mountain, or whether the mountain provides natural footholds or is completely smooth.  Maybe yours is an easier climb than mine.  I hope it is.  But I still see that as completely irrelevant.  Because, either way, your mountain might still represent the most difficult climb you have had thus far on your life’s path.  And cheering you on is what I want to do.  Again, I don’t know if that is a true purpose or not.  I do know I will more than settle for doing just that; focusing on giving someone else that “hand up”. 

Monday, October 10, 2011

Metamorphosis?

I explained in my second blog, “Yearning”, dated November 7, 2010, that this blog is a personal journey.  A journey where I think out loud and try to figure things out; try to make sense of  my life from that point on.  It has been good for me.  It has been its own kind of (grief) therapy. 

I also said at the time that I didn’t know for how long I might do this.  While that continues to be true, this writing thing has developed such that I don’t know if “it” would let me stop at present.  It started, and continues to be, about my personal journey; my attempt to figure out where to go in life at this point in time.   However, at times it feels as if the writing is beginning to give me purpose, or at least additional purpose, to life.  Possibly and most probably temporary purpose, but purpose nevertheless.  And that I find comforting.  But that is very different than just journaling about what I’m thinking, isn’t it?  At the start this was a means of organizing my thoughts, and by so doing, maybe gain insight and purpose.  That is very different than the writing being a purpose in and of itself.  Isn’t it? 

I would really have thought that the writing would have served its purpose by now and what became the need to write would be “out of my system”.   But, as I recently explained in “Book Reports” (September 27th), it seems that topics are beginning to not only present themselves, but are repeated in various everyday ways.  Almost so as to be sure I won’t miss them.  In that same post I admitted that it sounded really weird.  I still feel that way.  Maybe if I give a few examples, I’ll be able to “illustrate” what I mean. 

ü     I had begun to gather my thoughts to write something about language and words I hear used to talk about other human beings; about how negative, nasty speech doesn’t offer anything except an obvious boost to someone’s sense of importance.  I was going (and still will) give examples of how positive, encouraging language has inspired me, and hopefully, others. 

My brother had just attended a seminar on the use of verbal first aid; language proven by research to have an immediate impact on victims of physical trauma.  I remembered a course similar in content, but having to do with how to help those who have suffered a loss.  I thought the two worked so well together that they could be like Verbal First Aid 101 and 102. 

ü     Motivated for a number of different reasons, I have been studying American history again.  I have read a good amount about the history of Blacks and Native Americans in our country. 

Remember “Personal Reality Show, The Prequel,  of August 1st?  I wrote that as a response to the reading of several books and  study I had done.  Shortly after, inadvertently,  I saw on Book TV a Native American explaining his newly published book.  So, I  am currently reading In The Courts Of The Conqueror: The Ten Worst Indian Law Cases Ever Decided by Walter Echo-Hawk.  The library had to search various state libraries and found a copy for me from Highpoint, about 4 hours from here.  Cost to me?  $2.00!  (I will report on it when I have finished the book.  But let me tell you, the abuse and denigration of a class of people in our country can only be called shameful and sickening.) 

Recently I purchased a Nook Color.  I had consistently  said I absolutely did NOT want to read a book on a technological device.  I would never consider it.  Of course, Allan said I would love it and we should just go look at them.  We did.  I bought.  And... I really, really like it! A lot!   (Why do men have the aggravating habit of being right when we are SURE they are totally mistaken?).   Anyway, several different times, I have “browsed” for free books.  A result of my first search?  Fiction, but having to do with the treatment of Blacks by Christian leaders in a small community. Most recent search for the books of a favorite author, free or not?  Several fictional books having to do with Native Americans! And let me explain that once you are reading the overview of a book, there is a tab giving books “Like This”.  So I found several more by authors I do not yet know. 

ü     PBS and the History channel have had several shows/documentaries on the same topics that have been what I will call “thrown in front of me” recently.  And there are at least two I intend to watch this week. 

ü     If I have failed to make it clear in the past, let me clarify one thing now.  I HATE how we Christians act a lot of the time.  I abhor any of the current political stances being masqueraded as Christianity.  I feel like way too many people are falling in line, not even trying to think for themselves.  In fact, I will go so far as to say that I do not fear terrorism; I do not fear financial collapse; I do not fear any major social event as much as I fear this bunching together of those who speak far more often of their political views than their beliefs.  It concerns me that I hear the exact same phrases and arguments from so many, as if they are robotic beings programmed in like manner. 

Once again, my frustrating and distinctly  irritating ability to catch just a few words of something while changing television channels has shown itself.  I recently had to pause because some guy was talking about  the First Amendment right to freedom of religion.  I do not recall whether he said it did NOT apply to Muslims or he said it applied only to Christianity. I believe he also said we should not allow one more mosque to be built in this country.   CLICK. 

Within that same time frame I saw and heard another man refer to people who disagree with him as “human debris”. (I’m not sure, but I believe this is someone with a good sized “ Christian” following.)   CLICK.


I could cite a number of other examples, but maybe these will suffice.  I don’t know, but given the very specific and “out of the ordinary” topics, I see this as all very uncanny!  And since they matter to me, because they have to do with people and how they are treated, shouldn’t I write about them?  So is that a purpose?  To write about the things that literally keep stepping in front of me on my life pathway?  As always, I have no idea whatsoever! 

However, to quote myself from the “Yearning” post, I wrote:
I think I'm unsettled and fearful that if politics doesn't stop being an idol; if we don't denounce the hate-filled voices, we won't want to reach out to others when they most need it.  Not unless they agree with us, anyway.  And I'm yearning for a world where a world view different from our own doesn't equate to disdain.  I want to appreciate that everyone has a different "story".   I'm yearning for a world where we're willing to examine what we think and change our minds.  A world where we are more than willing to say "Great idea!" to someone else.  A world where we are all happy to see our balloons rise together, so to speak.  I'm yearning for a world where everyone who needs compassion and kindness and consideration (like we experienced) will get it.  And it will be heartfelt.

So maybe nothing has really changed at all.  Maybe I still feel that if we examine what has happened to us and where we’ve been, individually and corporately, the result should be more compassion and concern for others; more wanting to know their stories, and, if needed, to help them up.

Obviously, I’m still trying to figure it all out.   So, for now, I continue to write.

Friday, October 7, 2011

A Long List

Why?! I just don’t understand it!  Why did  my child have to die?  Did s/her die alone?  Did s/he suffer?  What were his/her last words?  Can’t you tell me something?  Please! I need to know.  I want to know.  Isn’t there anything at all you can tell me?

That’s what I imagine I would say if notified that my child had died in war.  Obviously, our family having had a child die, I am probably more sensitive to this scene than perhaps others might be.  I understand that.  But I can’t help wondering about the emotions that military families (world-wide) go through upon experiencing this kind of death.  It seems, at least to me, only natural that they would be almost overwhelmed with frustration.  Wouldn’t it be easy to understand?  How could you not have sympathy for those parents?  They must be angry that their child might be alive had some men not made decisions that resulted in war. 

Today marks 10 years that we have been fighting in Afghanistan.  It so happens that my most recent reading deals somewhat indirectly with war.  I’m learning a little about the international law of war; the “kinds” of war; various reasons for which a war has been fought (whether formally declared or not0, etc.  These two things have played at the back of my mind all day.  I began to wonder how many families, all over the world, for hundreds and hundreds of years have received notification of a child’s death during war?  And how many of those deaths were truly necessary?  Meaning how many were necessary because of an attack, resulting in a region or country having to defend itself?  And I wonder how many innocent, non-military people, have died over those same years?  Especially children, who know nothing about anything; they are/were just thinking about getting to play or do some other fun activity. 

I doubt there is a way to get that kind of number.  And I’m not at all sure I would want to know, anyway.  But, I did, totally unexpectedly, just the other day, read a list of our country’s “record” on war or military action.  I was shocked at just how long the list was.

ü     Revolutionary War 1775-1783
ü     Numerous Indian wars 1790-1890  (Yes, almost 100 years!)
ü     Naval operations against France 1798-1801
ü     War of 1812   1812-1815
ü     The Mexican-American War 1846-1858
ü     The American Civil War 1861-1865
ü     Overthrow of the Kingdom of Hawaii 1887
ü     The Spanish-American War 1898-1902
ü     The Boxer Rebellion 1900-1901
ü     The Philippine-American War 1899-1913
ü     Occupation of Vera Cruz, Mexico 1914
ü     The Pershing Expedition into Mexico 1916
ü     World War I 1917-1919
ü     World War II 1941-1945
ü     Conflict in Korea 1950-1953
ü     The Vietnam “War” 1963-1974
ü     Invasion of Lebanon 1982
ü     Invasion of Grenada 1983
ü     Invasion of Libya 1986
ü     Invasion of Panama 1989
ü     Invasion of Iraq 1990-1991
ü     Invasion of Somalia 1991
ü     Afghanistan 2001-present
ü     Iraq 2003-present

Not mentioned above is a constant state of alert during the “Cold War”, mid-1940’s to early 1990’s.  Also not listed is the “War on Terrorism” that we speak of.   That’s a lot of war over a lot of years.  The number of years we have not been at war or involved in military conflict is far less than the years we have been so engaged.  I’ll let you count for yourself.  I’m still thinking about someone’s child being killed, whether part of a war/conflict or an innocent civilian. 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Response to "Verbal First Aid"

My brother has a blog and recently wrote about attending a presentation on verbal first aid.  The presentation was evidently given by a Dr. Judith Prager, co-author of the book The Worst Is Over: What To Say When Every Moment Counts.  A really interesting post regarding research about “the rapid dramatic physical improvement experienced by accident victims who heard healing words….”!  I encourage you to read it for yourself.  The title is "Verbal First Aid" and it was posted October 1st.  You'll find his blog at http://noaz.blogspot.com.   (This brother is a computer expert.  Me?  Well…no so much.  So I do hope he is impressed that I am putting a link in this post.  Never done that before!  And I figured it out all on my own!)  Anyway, I wrote a brief response but wanted to share the following with him, as it relates so very well.  But it was simply too long as a comment, so I share it here. 


Years ago we took a course on what to say to/do for people who are experiencing a tragedy.  The course was by Dr. Norman Wright.  I do not recall the title.  But it was excellent. 

Some things we learned? 

1)  People, when in shock (and it may not be apparent that a person is in that state) might not even remember others coming to be with them. So don't be offended if you have gone to someone immediately upon hearing of a tragedy and s/he does not, later on, remember your presence.

2)  Don't ask a person what you can do for him/her.  S/he can't think.  Instead, be very specific.  "I am going to bring dinner for you on Tuesday night.  I will prepare something you can freeze so that if you already have food, what I bring will be a help to you later on."

3)  Put it on your calendar to send a note, call or visit a person on an "anniversary date", whether that be 3 months or 6 months after a tragedy; just whatever.  In particular, do so at the one year mark.  Evidently people can think they are slowly beginning to recover, but an "anniversary" like the first can take them totally by surprise because it is almost  a replay of the day tragedy struck.  So not only do they re-live the tragedy, but they are totally unsettled by the strength and depth of their response to the date.

(I can tell you from personal experience that remembering means so much to people.  This year a friend of my daughter's gave a gift to a charity for children  in memory of our little granddaughter's birthday.  My daughter was so touched.  She has never appreciated a gift any more than she did that one.) 


4)     Don't worry that you don’t know what to say.  You do not have to say anything!  The truly important thing?  Just knowing you care about what s/he is going through.  If the person gets upset and cries, let him/her.  It is healing.  If s/he wants to talk about the loved one, or what happened, just listen.  You don't (and can't anyway) say anything that will help.  But listening intently is a gift to the hurting person. 

It is my sincere wish that no one needs to use any of what is on my brother’s blog or in this post.

Natalia's Kiss

It was just as we were leaving and it was ever so light.  But it was so perfect.  I can still feel it now, a touching memory.

It was a good day.  We started out on a “Surprise Adventure” early in the day.  The heat wouldn’t really allow us to do otherwise.  And, as it turned out, it was also necessary because the heat was a factor for the beautiful creatures that were the focus of our adventure. 

Trista kept the destination a secret from all of us, including Ale.  She was taking us to Airlie Gardens to the butterfly house to celebrate our 41st anniversary on August 8th.  The setting was serene.  I very much liked the sculptures, in diverse and eclectic mediums.  The butterflies were beautiful!  There weren’t the 14,000 varieties found in Costa Rica, of course.  But there were enough for us to appreciate how unique each variety was.    


I really wanted a butterfly to land on me.  I kept waiting, hoping for this small “gift”; a gift surely without meaning to anyone who hasn’t had to search for little moments of encouragement and the feeling of being close to a sweet lost child.  I understand that.  And I hope most, or at least as many as possible, never understand.  That would be a good thing.  But, I needed to look up and feel as if the sun were shining on my face in some special way.  And that the occasional slight breezes were, in fact, meant specifically to refresh my spirit.  Finally one came to sit a brief moment or two on my skirt.  I stayed very still so a picture could be taken, of course.  I was honestly thankful for that little butterfly, but, still, I wanted some special experience, I guess. 





And just as we were leaving, at that very last moment, one came to rest on my shoulder; not on an article of clothing, but on my person.  As I write this, I am aware that to describe the significance that moment held for me is impossible.  I can only say that sometimes the “non-events” of life simply touch one’s very core. I know it was not a big thing, but to get this one little wish granted was like getting a kiss from Natalia.  That’s what it was in my mind; a kiss just for me!  A kiss encouraging me to have a good day. 
A kiss to remind me that she is surrounded by the kind of beauty and serenity I had just enjoyed.  A kiss to remind me that one day I will get that kiss in person.  And I will be able to kiss that little face in return.  Maybe we will be in a field of butterflies.  I can make a game of it, and kiss her each and every time a butterfly flits anywhere near us.  I can only imagine the giggling!  No doubt, her laughter is the music to which the dance of those butterflies is perfectly choreographed.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Wisdom From Dad

Last May I wrote a post for Mother’s Day and talked about my mom.  I didn’t have time in June to do the same for Father’s Day, even though I would have liked to do so.  But Sunday, October 2nd  was my dad’s birthday.   So I started this post for him, although I knew time would not allow me to finish it that day. 

The lessons I learned from dad are numerous.  I decided to try and pick the “top three”.   A difficult task, I assure you, as I thought more than three definitely qualified to be in that category.  So, I just picked three.  Maybe another time I can share the others.  Here are those three, in no specific order, and maybe a few notes on how I have used those lessons:

1)     Ask kids questions about why they have done something before assuming they were just being naughty.  Often you’ll be surprised and pleased with what their intent was!  And how to handle the situation will be so much more easily determined.  Want to guess how often this advice helped me out?  I’ll give you a couple of the best examples I can think of.   At some point in time, during my teaching years, a kid, who was usually such a pleasure, must have been having a bad day.  I don’t remember the circumstances, but I chastised him, which he didn’t take so well.  After a few minutes he was really angry and told me to just send him to the office.  I refused to do so; said we were going to set the issue aside and talk about it later.  After class, I asked. “Glenn what were you thinking?  You know very well I don’t send people to the office as a general rule.  Why would you want me to make the situation any worse and get you in more trouble by sending you to the office?  Explain that to me first and then we’ll discuss the original issue.”  His response?  “Mrs. N, you were just making me SO mad I didn’t want to stay and maybe be disrespectful to you.  I really didn’t want to do that!”  Of course, I had to tell Glenn that actually, then, he had been thinking ahead and handling the situation better than I.  Since we had never had any trouble I suggested I just thank him for wanting to be respectful to me and we start with a clean slate the following day; that I expected we really would be able to let it go.  And I repeated that I was glad he had been in better control than I.

Another quick example.  Another student, a girl, this time, was SO good for me, but she came to class extremely unprepared one day.  When I asked why she didn’t have her homework, she just repeated several times that she didn’t; that was all.  I went on with class.  Later, I asked her why she wouldn’t give me a reason.  She went on to say that she didn’t want to give me a hard time, but, okay,  her younger brother, who was suffering from a degenerative disease had been really sick the night before and she didn’t get any homework done for any class.  She was particularly close to him and he liked having her with him.  In her case, I had to tell her, “Shame on me, Stacey!  I evidently have not made it clear that I do believe in bad stuff happening.  I  should have made it more than clear to everyone they NEVER had to be afraid to ‘give me a hard time’ by telling me something.  And, further, I had also not made it understood  that nothing had to be said in front of the entire class.  Any student could just ask if s/he could tell me later.”   I was glad to have learned about the situation because I was able to frequently ask how he was doing and tell her I was thinking about her family.  Not too many years later, Stacey’s brother did pass away.  I was able to contact her and give my sympathy.


2)     Don’t fret over trying to learn how to make decisions.  Do the best you can.  And when you find out it wasn’t such a good decision, mentally pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep going.  You’ll know better next time.  This was Dad’s response when, somewhere in my later teenaged years,  I told him I didn’t know how to make some decisions.  I think it might be my general nature that I don’t look backwards and fret about dumb things I’ve done.  BUT, even if that is true, my dad helped develop that natural bend.  When a totally dumb decision stares me in the face, I look at it,  think about remembering that, and I do move on.  I’m not so sure I would know to move on quickly if it weren’t for Dad’s advice.  

3)     Girls work hard to look good.  Working on “looking good on the inside” should get at least equal time.   (Dad mentioned this when I was 16 and getting ready to go to a dance. I DID actually pause and think about it at the time.  But I’m sure it was years later before I really understood the wisdom he was sharing.)

In an upcoming post about words and the impact they can have, I’ll share one of my favorite lessons from Dad.  

No parent is perfect, of course.  But mine did the very, very best they knew how.  I appreciate both of them and miss them. 

Numbers

I was going to entitle this post “Speechless”.  But that seemed totally ridiculous.  If you have read any of my blogs, I am absolutely sure you doubt I can ever be rendered speechless.  In fact, my husband wondered if my last two posts would be rejected because of length.  Thank goodness it doesn’t work like texting.  Because some things, like the books I shared, just have so much to offer as food for thought; substantive food, at that.  In my defense, you’ll see how the following news item was disappointing enough to make me momentarily lose touch with reality and THINK I was going to be speechless.

The North Carolina legislature is having hearings in order to decide which of 3 residential schools for the deaf and blind to close, due to budget constraints.  To quote dailytarheel.com, “The recently passed State appropriations bill mandates the State close one of those 3 schools because they no longer meet the needs of visually impaired and hard of hearing populations in an effective manner.”  My first reaction was NOT to pause and ask questions.  Think disbelief, aggravation and disgust.  That pretty well sums up my immediate reaction.  Why kids?  Why does something good have to be taken away from  kids?  Isn’t there anywhere else the budget can be cut?  Really?! 

However, I’ve now backed up and reminded myself of something important.  Just like I had to do with the Supreme Court decision Snyder vs. Phelps regarding the Westboro Baptist Church, I had to get the facts.  (Why is it so hard to remember to take my own advice?  Wonder if anyone else finds that as difficult to do as I?)  So online I went.  My questions were:

1)     What are the exact figures?  What are the annual costs of each of the 3 schools? 
2)     What would be the annual cost for a public school to accommodate the students of the school ultimately closed? 
3)     What, exactly, does “an effective manner” mean? 
4)     How is “effective manner” measured, whether referring to the services provided in these residential schools or in public school? 
5)     Who does the measuring?  Educators well experienced in, and specializing in working with deaf/blind students or policy makers?  Or both, working jointly?  You know, those evidently impossible, and for all intents and purposes, currently non-existent human interactions called cooperation and compromise?

You get my point.

I have not found any of the answers.  I intend to try and get them.  Now, please hang on to this thought about the schools for the disabled for a minute.  Let me go back a few years and fill you in on how I learned to “get the numbers”.

He was REALLY irritated.  That wasn’t too unusual, but, unfortunately for me, guess where that anger was directed?  I had been stupid enough to dare ask about a number.  I was on a committee to investigate and give input on various educational programs.  The assumed head of the committee, who also happened to be the boss of all of us around the table, had mentioned a dollar figure we paid (He definitely used past tense.) for an additional program.  I looked around the table.  All blank faces.  (Does everybody else remember our agreeing to spend the money?  I sure don’t!) I waited.  No one spoke up.  Being, at that point in life, still always naïve about such mean-spirited people, I speak up.  I’m sorry, I just don’t remember our deciding about that expense.  So where does that leave us with respect to monies still available?  At just the time his face was flushing red from anger, my friend Randy speaks up.  I don’t either.  Then my friend Elaine.  I guess I don’t either.  With difficulty, but real effort, because he was, to his credit, trying to suppress his annoyance, he explains that he had been speaking about the dollar figure we would have to spend, if the program weren’t part of a great package he thought we should consider.  (Run that by me one more time?)  He was just using that past tense because in his mind it was a done deal.  The rest of us had not caught on to the fact that it was a pretend committee.  (What were we thinking?  We really should have known.) 

That experience taught me how easily numbers can be manipulated, taken out of context, whatever, to get a desired result, for good or bad.   I knew words can be taken out of context, and thereby either change their meaning entirely, or give a different, but important, change in nuance.   Now I knew numbers can be likewise used; perhaps even more so.  I sometimes wonder how many numbers we use in life can really stand alone and yet represent accurate and complete truth.  A last example, if it is okay; one to which we all might more easily relate.  I tore something in my back.  At the time, the medical person gave my blood pressure as 140 over something.  Since my blood pressure is always slightly low or just about perfect, 140 was, for me, very high.  The medical professional needed to know what the 140 figure meant as it related to me personally.  Because, for someone else, 140 might be closer to his/her normal pressure.  He explained the 140 was a result of pain.  (I did not know that happened!)  Just as most plays need supporting actors, so do numbers. 

My point?  First, to have truthful and beneficial communication, the kind that will lead to efficient and productive action, requires numbers.  A lot of confusion, frustration, and wasted time can be avoided, if we start demanding the context for any numbers cited, whether given to prove a point or to encourage a certain response/action.  And if not provided, it’s unwise to react as I did this time.  A better course of action is to search out the context.  (Hope I remember my own advice next time!)  When necessary, Allan and I use several sites that are committed to unbiased fact checking.  Secondly, I’d like to think no decision that dramatically affects the lives of human beings (especially children) is made without the full “number context”.  To my way of thinking, in addition to the numbers and context of the problem, the same should be provided for any alternative solution being put forth.  Difficult decisions might be easier to accept given such an approach.  And maybe better solutions will become apparent.   At the very least, there might be a lot less enmity.  Don’t forget.  I’m an idealist who struggles to be more of a realist.  But boy, would I like to see some overlap of my idealism with reality!

By way of showing I do TRY to do what I’m “preaching” about on a consistent basis, I did get numbers for the assertion I made in “Back To The Future?” regarding the number of slave owners.  I said, “For what percentage of white men in the combined states have we allowed the subject of slavery to become an issue?  And to what percentage of our population, claimed by us to be equal, would we be denying representation?  No man can say that the number benefiting from allowing the continuation of slavery represents ‘large districts of people’.  Rather, if we include slaves, the percentage unrepresented would be vastly greater than those for whom we are willing to set aside our worthy aspirations.”  I should have given the numbers on which I based saying one number was not only greater than another, but vastly greater.   (Shame on me!  Or, as Malik, my trainer at the Y says, “My bad!”.)  Here they are.  I read some of the actual 1860 census report on the http://www.census.gov/ site and compared the numbers with Wikipedia.  In some cases the numbers varied slightly.  I’ll give both.  The 1860 (eighth US) census showed:

ü     US population was determined to be 31,443,321
ü     4 million slaves lived in the US  (Wikipedia said 3,953,761)
ü     This was increased from 700,000 in 1790
ü     Slaves made up a full 1/3 of the Southern population  (Wikipedia)
ü     393,975 individuals, or 8% of all US families, owned 3,950,528 slaves (The 3,950,528 was a Wikipedia number that differed from the one above, second check mark.)

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Back To The Future?

Note:  This post is a follow up to the previous, “Book Report”.  The books cited in that post, along with several others, provide  the context for what follows.

Sometimes when people die they are remembered by loved ones not as they really were in life.  Ever experienced that?  I have.  But from what I could tell it was a need on the part of those remaining and did no real harm.  However, I’ve seen that history can also be rewritten so as to reflect something better than what it truly was.  And since we are supposed to learn from history, not dealing the facts of its reality is harmful.  Not facing up to a historical reality deprives us of the opportunity to keep striving to do better as a community.  At least, that is how I see it.   

I seem to hear a lot about our founding fathers lately.  And about how the history I was taught in school did not reflect their true Christianity and intent for our country.  I hear some say we need to read what they themselves wrote to see clearly the Christian principles on which our country was founded.  From my personal perspective, I simply don’t understand that.  First and foremost, I see slavery.  That’s a big stumbling block for me.  But besides that, there is another fundamental question in my mind.  If I want to reflect on whether or not Christian principles were their foundational tools, why would I use as my standard what they themselves wrote?  Or what some present day religious/political commentator  announces as true?  Don’t we Christians believe that Scripture is the measuring stick?  Do we believe God is interested in what we say, whether verbally or in written form?  Or do we believe He is more interested in how we live, how we actually apply Christian principles?  I, personally, think it is the latter. 

Given that opinion, and my interest in American history, not to mention all that I have read and learned recently, I have begun to wonder how some things came to be and why we think the past, filled with slavery and hate, seems so Christian?  I’ve tried to imagine how the discussion went originally.  Here’s what I hope my position would have been, had I been a representative to the Constitutional Convention, and were speaking before the group. 

Fellow Representatives, although we traveled here to Philadelphia in order to revise the Articles of Confederation, we readily agreed, with in a few short months, that the design of those Articles required substantial editing.  In fact, we became in accord with one another that no less than fundamental changes were required.  Consequently, we then united in the opinion that a new Constitution should be proposed.  We now have a most commendable draft of a Preamble to that Constitution:  “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”[sic]

Gentlemen, as we dispute the various aspects regarding the relationship of the federal government with the states and our peoples, let us use not only the beliefs asserted in the Declaration of Independence as a guiding framework and standard, but also the ideas put forth by this Preamble.  I implore us all, as a body of representatives, that we not so quickly concede to agreements, which are in direct contradiction to that which we have professed to be self-evident.  Let us not agree to any that speak to the opposite intent outlined in this Preamble.  

I speak specifically of our discussion regarding slavery.  Rather than abolish this offensive and despicable institution, it has been suggested that provisions such as I will list here be included in the constitution:
  • Allowing for the continued importation of persons for the sole purpose of placing them into bondage and to make them, by law, the property of another.
  • Prohibiting our citizens from providing assistance to any such persons able to escape the institution and further, requiring them to return any escapees to their owner/s.
  • Counting slaves as “three-fifths” of a person when calculating a state’s population for representation and federal taxation.  And that is, of course, to determine representation for their white owners; not for the slaves themselves. 
  • Prohibiting amendments or legislation changing any provisions regarding slavery for the period of 20 years.

And why are we affording time to such debate?  Because some, although strongly opposed to slavery, are being persuaded that a broken Union presents an evil with consequences more dire than those resulting from permitting the state of slavery to be worked out over time. 

In the time allotted to me I propose to offer specific arguments against such compromise.  I will address the issue from both a religious and non-religious, strictly logical reasoning process.  From the Christian perspective for several reasons.  One is simply that in our Declaration of Independence from Great Britain, “Nature’s God” and man’s “Creator” are mentioned within the first two sentences.  And in the last paragraph we speak of the “Supreme Judge of the world” and “divine Providence”.  Another rationale for the presentation of a Christian point of view is that most of us are of the Christian faith, whether Protestants of various denominations, or Catholic.  But an approach based on a process of reasoning is also necessary because at least a few are deists.  I believe the argument against slavery is very easily made from either position.  I will attempt to limit the comments for each stance simply due to time constraints, although, I must tell you, that a good number of additional arguments could be presented. 

For those who believe God does, in fact, intervene in the lives of men, let me suggest several Biblical references and thoughts that I think we need to carefully consider.  First, it is wise to remember that this decision regarding slavery is a battle, no less real than our fight for freedom from Great Britain was.  Ephesians 6:10-12 tells us to be strong in the Lord and HIS mighty power because our “…struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities against the powers, of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”  It is most likely that this concept to one degree or another could be easily agreed to by even those who are deists or who hold no religious persuasion.  Why?  Because it is a generally accepted truth that both good and bad exists in our world.  We need only look to much of the great literature.  It often deals with the conflict between good and evil.  We can also unite on this principle due to the tyranny and injustice we felt at the hands of England.  We fought against the opposing military.  But, the physical battle was the representation of another underlying battle; one in which the enemy was power, greed, and lack of any concern for us as humans beings.

Secondly, Scripture cautions us to look ahead and thereby deliberate conscientiously the possible result of any action.  I remind us all that in Proverbs 22:3 and again in Proverbs 27:12 (RSV) we read “A prudent man sees danger and hides himself; but the simple go on, and suffer for it.”  The warning in Galatians 6:7-8a is more urgent.  “Do not be deceived; God cannot be mocked.  A man reaps what he sows.  The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction…” (Emphasis mine.)  And I believe there is an admonition that is particularly salient to such a foundational disagreement as ours over slavery.  Jesus Himself said, both in Mark 3:24-25 and Luke 11:17, “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, (Emphasis mine.) and a house divided against itself will fall.”  If we claim to be Christians, how can we then so blatantly ignore His words?  Why do we want to fail to accept the wisdom given us in Scripture, when that wisdom tells us we are headed for the most serious of trouble?

Thirdly, we as Christians must heed the warning against hypocrisy.  Recall that in Matthew chapter 23 Jesus repeatedly called the teachers of the law and the Pharisees hypocrites.  He denounced their habits of preaching and insisting on one thing while doing another and/or doing what they did for wrong motives.  Let me cite two explicit examples.  In Matthew 23:23 he condemned them for giving one-tenth of their spices but neglecting “the more important matters of the law – justice, mercy and faithfulness”.  In verse 25 He censured them for cleaning the outside of the cup and dish but not first cleaning the inside which he declared full of greed and self-indulgence.  Gentlemen, I urge us to reflect on what Jesus’ criticism of us would be, should He be in presence at this convention.  There can be no doubt whatsoever that He would compare what we have said by means of our written documents with what we are seriously thinking about doing.  What self-professed Christian here could assert that He would not see greed and self-indulgence as the core issue?  Greed on the part of those wanting to benefit from slavery and self-indulgence on the part of those who would agree to such an injustice in order to get the Union they see as the only desirable one. 

Before I recite other Biblical references about Jesus Himself, let me briefly recall for all of us some verses that are germane to this debate and any conclusions befitting who we are as Christians.
§       “Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.”  Proverbs 11:17.  (TLB)  I submit, gentlemen, that this issue of slavery is at the very core of our nation’s soul and we are forewarned.
§        “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of those who are destitute.”  Proverbs 31:8
§       “You should defend those who cannot help themselves.  Yes, speak up for the poor and needy and see that they get justice.”  Proverbs 31:8-9.  (TLB)
§       “For you closed your eyes to the facts and did not choose to reverence and trust the Lord, and you turned your back on me, spurning my advice.  That is why you must eat the bitter fruit of having your own way, and experience the full terrors of the pathway you have chosen.”  Proverbs 1:29-31. (TLB)  My friends, this bitter fruit of having our own way refers to us all equally, whether “our own way” is the continuation of slavery or our choice of the Union’s makeup. 

Fellow Christians, how does making legal the enslavement of a group of people exemplify either the adherence to Jesus’ commands or any attempt to model our lives in accordance with how He lived His?  I know what some proponents of slavery would offer as justification.  They would point to Ephesians 6:5 where slaves are told to obey their earthly masters with respect and fear, as if obeying Christ.  However, it cannot be argued that the verse condones slavery.  The verse recognizes that slavery exists and tells slaves how best to live in their condition.  Sadly, it must also be said, that neither does the verse condemn slavery.  But these are not the words of Jesus.  Looking to the Christ from whom we draw our name “Christians”, does, in fact, clarify the issue completely.  His life illustrates servanthood, not of any desire to enslave others to His will.  However, should we not understand or be able to interpret a message from observing His life, we have His own words.  He told us to not only love one another as we love ourselves; but also, in John 15:12 to love others as He has loved us.  Who among us would want to be the property of another, with no say or choice whatsoever over any aspect of our lives?  Who among us would want that existence for those he most loves on earth?  I say existence (if it can even be termed such) because it is not a life.  And certainly not life as it is described in our Declaration of Independence; one of liberty and the ability to pursue one’s own happiness.  If slavery is not what we would desire for  our loved ones, or ourselves, then deeming that kind of life acceptable for any other human being gives no reverence for and submission to Jesus’ commands.  In fact, we should not want such for even our enemies, since Jesus tell us to also love them.  Therefore, slavery should not be a topic for discussion at this convention.  Rather, it should be something emphatically rejected by at least those of us who call ourselves Christians.

For those among us who are deists, or otherwise, and believe not that the Creator actively intervenes in our lives, I suggest a purely rational discussion, committing to the use of logic throughout both the process and to examine the result. 

Let me first encourage us, as we attempt to build a nation’s foundation, to build such that the documents already put forth and any on which we are now working show no disparity with the truth of reality itself.
In the Declaration of Independence one of the many accusations we presented against the King of Great Britain was that he “refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only”.  Friends, we need be most frank and forthright.  For what percentage of white men in the combined states have we allowed the subject of slavery to become an issue?  And to what percentage of our population, claimed by us to be equal, would we be denying representation?  No man can say that the number benefiting from allowing the continuation of slavery represents “large districts of people”.  Rather, if we include slaves, the percentage unrepresented would be vastly greater than those for whom we are willing to set aside our worthy aspirations.  Moreover, by this act of acceding, we are deciding to act in a manner incongruous with what we say we believe; to immediately commit the same offense suffered by and condemned by us!  Further, it bears asking, would such a decision to eliminate huge numbers of people from representation ultimately be any more wise for us than it came to be for King George?  Logic simply does not come to such a conclusion, does it?

Let me next offer what should be an unnecessary reminder.  Also in our Declaration of Independence, we maintained that we believe some truths to be self-evident, one being that certain rights are unalienable.  And it is my strong assertion that many of us do believe that.  Sadly, it appears some now believe that in theory only.  But let us face up to a reality; one demonstrated by us, those who declared independence from England.  That reality?  We did not, at the beginning think in terms of divine, immutable, or inalienable rights.  We wanted our rights and we got them when we were strong enough to make good our claim on them.[i]  Does is make sense to build a nation’s foundation in such a way that at some future time some of our people will feel it necessary to make claim on the very rights they see identified by us as coming from the Creator; rights further defined by us as unalienable, but which they enjoy not?  How does such a decision represent orderly and consistently coherent thought?  

As another point, my fellow Representatives, I believe it to be extremely naïve to think that 20 years from now, in 1808, we will then be able to come to an amiable and unifying agreement about slavery.  We must all admit, if only to ourselves, that even individual, relatively harmless habits, long practiced, are most difficult to overcome.  How much more so when a question of a societal habit or tradition, far more complicated and therefore burdensome?  Particularly when that habit or tradition has been given ample time to become firmly ingrained as part of a culture, an economy, and everyday life?  Postponing a decision on our new nation’s policy regarding slavery shows lack of sound reasoning.  We, ourselves, and our own actions, prove the general principle that says addressing problems at an appropriate time is the wise course of action.  Leaving a pressing issue without a timely and solid solution allows not only the problem itself to fester, but for other problems to arise as a result.  Rationally, it cannot be argued that avoidance equates solution, at least not one desired and beneficial to all concerned.  Great Britain’s defeat at our hands is proof enough. 

We have come this far in an extremely arduous struggle, gentlemen.  Why are we now failing to face up to this next challenge?  I ask you, would losing a few states from the Union put us at risk, as we certainly were when we began our fight for freedom from Great Britain?   At that point we had to promote unity.  Now we have some strength of unity already functioning.  I also ask, do those states demanding the continuation of slavery in return for their willingness to stay unified believe they can survive as individual entities indefinitely? 

I ask these questions rhetorically, but with serious intent.  From my perspective it is not necessary to debate them.  We can handle the challenge from a different approach that might more easily and surely lead us in a better direction for all concerned.  Let us spend time and effort discussing ideas on how the economy of these few slave states can not only exist but also thrive without owning other human beings.  We have accomplished much.  I believe we can likewise manage this.  In our Declaration of Independence among the list of proofs we provided in regards to King George’s tyrannical treatment of us, we said, “He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions of the rights of people.”   Who here can say that we are showing the same “manly firmness” to prevent the government we are forming from denying the rights of others?  Let us be as determined as we were when the Declaration was written.  Who here can deny that to do so would be in perfect agreement with our stated reason for separation from Great Britain and also with the design for a more representative and responsive form of government towards which we have been working?  Please consider that “The biggest mistake sometimes is to play things very safe in this life and end up being moral failures.2

In the same way that war was a result of our being denied rights, is it not very reasonable to assume that we would, by the denial of those very same rights, and some far more basic to human existence, be creating the crucible for another?  “Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob, and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.”3


I would like to end by making a suggestion, which to my mind, should clarify and truly simplify the issue.  Let us travel to our homes before expending further effort together.  Let us look at our children or grandchildren.  Let us ask ourselves if our actions are conducive to securing “the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity” as the Preamble defines as our purpose for establishing a constitution?  Which decisions more definitively point to blessings as opposed to strife and/or worse?  And let us do one other thing while at home.  Let us seek out and watch the children or grandchildren of others, be they white or black.  In fact, I encourage us to develop, during our journey home, a deep desire to really see a black child.  And after observing that child, let us ask but one question of ourselves.  “If that child were mine or of my family, what would I want for him or her?”

 Although assuredly a task requiring much effort, we must look outside ourselves and attempt to view both the present and the future from the eyes of another.  Why?  “Much of the insensibility and hardness of the world is due to the lack of imagination which prevents a realization of the experience of other people.”4  I propose that if we truly look at the future made possible, if not probable, by a decision to continue slavery, we would see such things as we would never choose for our Posterity.  It is not at all irrational to think we would see intense strife, if not war, over the question of slavery, the question we chose not to face up to.  And it would be a territorial conflict, just as it is now.   We would see future citizens following our example of rebelling, in whatever way, in order to lay claim on equal rights.  We would see blessings for our citizens not realized because the environment would be such that much intellect and many talents would go undeveloped because of a young person’s skin color.  For those of us who are Christians, we would see our descendents reaping what we have sown; hatred for each other and the failure of Christians of different colors to work together.  In fact, we might well see Christians leading the cause for hatred, Christians who are puffed up and prideful.  Once having looked to this future, we would need to ask ourselves but one question.  If a representation of reality, would we want to go back to the future we just envisioned?

One other suggestion, if I may.  When we return to this convention, let us, before beginning discussion, read the last line of our Declaration of Independence; the line where we pledge our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor to each other as support of that Declaration.  Let us live up to that assertion.  Let us not put fortunes or individual lives above our mutual support.  Let our decisions reflect that pledge of not only honor, but sacred honor.  It is of utmost importance that we keep foremost in our minds that “The eyes of the future are looking back at us and they are praying for us to see beyond our own time.”5


[i] Helen Keller, writer, lecturer, activist, advocate for the disabled, 1880-1968
2 Dorothy Day, social activist, journalist, 1897-1980
3 Frederick Douglass, antislavery orator and writer, 1818-1895
4 Jane Addams, social reformer, 1860-1935
5 Terry Tempest Williams, writer, environmentalist, activist, 1955 -