No. I’m not crazy. At least, to my knowledge, I’m not. I know it is January. I know Thanksgiving is in November. But bear with me. Maybe, just maybe I’ll be able to explain.
If you’ve read “Why Don’t I Know The Answer To That?” you’ll know I was wondering a lot about what we’re thankful for, individually and collectively. Then Christmas was coming. And it seems we can switch pretty quickly from focusing on gratitude to what we want. We hear about the wish list. Commercials for jewelry stores tell men what their female loved ones are wishing for. They tell children what dads really want. Etc. Etc. And because I would have loved to be buying toys (educational, of course!) and a little “party” dress, I started thinking about how our Thanksgiving list (“The Personal List”) and our Christmas wish list should be a lot more related to one another. Maybe really considering what we can be thankful for would change the wish list and/or make it a whole lot shorter.
Christmas passed. Then New Year’s was coming. I gave resolutions up years ago, so no pressure here. But, evidently people still make them. For at least the first two weeks in January Pilates and Yoga class was really, really full! Now…not so much. I kind of wondered how many people look back at last year’s resolutions to see how things went. If they do, does that have any impact on what they resolve to do this year?
All of that “thinking” (I obviously use the term loosely.) somehow led me to mentally combine all three ideas: a wish list that really would be my Thanksgiving list. And since I would be making this wish list for next Thanksgiving, some things would require a resolve on my part. A resolve to make sure I could, on Thanksgiving Day 2011, look back and say I was thankful for the things on my already created list.
See how I linked the three? (If you do, you actually follow how my mind goes on these tangents, you might want to consider getting help. Seriously.) Well, doesn’t really matter, anyway, does it? This is my personal journey. And besides, wasn’t there a book years ago, something about “I’m Okay. You’re Okay”? Let’s go with that.
You know what’s coming. Surely, you do. My list. My Thanksgiving Wish List. But first, a reminder, just like in the previous blog. This is NOT political commentary. It is simply my sincere attempt to understand a world that is dramatically altered. And figure out, if possible, what do I do in that world? I repeat the reminder because my list does, in my opinion, reflect “The Personal List” and elements of what I’d like to see on “The Corporate List”, if we had one. It was difficult to make my list concise but inclusive of all that is important to me. But I tried.
So, as we say, God willing I be here, the following is at least part of my Thanksgiving Wish List for November 24, 2011, in no particular order:
- A family that is healing.
- Friends who will tell me what I need to hear, not what they think I want to hear.
- A new sense of purpose, whether a completely new purpose, or an additional purpose to what I already do. Whatever. But, clearly defined.
- If the above is not entirely possible, at least some strong indications about my purpose; some framework or outline I feel sure about.
- That someone or several might be thankful I’m on the planet. Not for any sad reason. I pray that’s not the case. But simply because I’ve lifted them up, encouraged them, made them feel good because they know I appreciate who they are. (Totally convinced people need more of that.)
- That we love all children as we do our own. So much so they we care about the entirety of their childhood: hungry little tummies, excellent and equal education, and healthy, safe environments.
- To be as healthy as I’ve always been. And to know I’ve continued to try to do more to help keep and even improve my health. Physically and mentally.
- That I’ve loved others as I love myself. So much so that anyone who needs health care of any kind but does not have the resources gets it. Some examples to illustrate why I feel so strongly about this:
ü Anyone who needs hearing aids, like I do, but can’t write the check, gets them. And consequently their everyday life, and that of those around them, is drastically improved and enriched.
ü Anyone who needs cataract surgery on both eyes, as I did, has medical insurance that covers it. S/he doesn’t have to write a $10,000 check (cost several years ago). That those individuals will be as shocked and thrilled at such improved vision. (Note: it always seemed to me that cataract surgery was for old people. My friend agreed with me. But, as she pointed out, there are exceptions to the rule. And I was not only that exception, she said. I was the youngest person to ever have the surgery. She’s very knowledgeable. I take her word for it.)
ü Anyone who needs back surgery has medical insurance to cover the bill. (2003 cost was $19,000)
ü That anyone who has had a tragedy doesn’t end up with a bill that will take years and years and years to pay off. (One friend has a bill for $25,000 she might pay off by the time she retires. But there is a good chance that won’t happen. Wish that were the only example I could give for people I know. But I have way more than I like to think about.)
- That we have learned to agree to disagree. And thereby we have continued friendships and relationships and discussion. (At the end I’ll share what has always worked well for me personally. Might not for anyone else, but works great for me!)
- That “All or Nothing” thinking is not the general rule of thumb; but rather reserved for those instances and situations for which we can not, without violating our very core principles. Religious, ethical, etc. (I’ve learned that for me there are about eight. Everything else I can go way more than halfway.)
- I’ll include all the “givens”, like jobs, the end to the wars, etc. I’m most certainly not minimizing these things in any way. It just feels like they are already included, so to speak. How? It seems to me if I get the other things on my wish list, these things will be on their way to resolution. There would at least be a start.
If I’m still blogging in November 2011, I’ll come back and take a look. This is one wish list of things I really, really want.
I promised to share what has worked for me to keep friendships going if and when discussion could lead to failed relationships. I have a friend who, I suspect, might actually be on the opposite side of where I stand on a lot of issues. Although we have been friends for years, I really can’t say, at all. That’s because that friend tends to be more “excitable” (translation: gets hot pretty quickly) in certain types of conversations. Since this person has a booming voice, I’ll call said friend “Voice”. My solution when conversation threatened to get heated in any way? I would always say, “Voice! Voice! Whoa! Whoa! Let’s just skip to the part where I’m right, you’re wrong; and let’s find another topic of discussion.” Voice would burst out laughing, right in mid sentence. I’d laugh. And we’d move on. Result? We became good friends. And therefore, I think, if we had to work on a serious issue on which we held pretty opposite points of view, we could do it. And do it well. I would say to myself, “ Voice won’t agree to that, but maybe I can get him to think about this alternative.” He’d say to himself, “I know Regenia. No way will she go along with that. Let me think of something else.” I once asked my husband if he thought I was right about this. He agreed. We’d get the job done. And still be friends.
